why is it that i feel happy one moment, then the next you read,see,hear something and you feel so left and betrayed again. and the funny thing is, i havn't even been betrayed. just left. left behing with all the old photos and memories that are too insignificant for you to bother remember. the annoying this is, i don't think you see it like this. i reckon you see it like you're life is expanding, growing, moving on. but to me, it's totally significant. because i never wanted that to happen. i didn't want to be the donkey at the back of the stable.s i wanted to be the one that ran over the hills with you, that ate, talked, laughed with you. but maybe not. sometimes it happens, sometimes we talk and talk and talk. but mostly, it's just me sitting back, observing the situation unfolding before my eyes. and i don't want to have to be the one to make the effort. it should be both of us. but the thing is i don't want to drift away like just another cloud in your life. i want to be the sun that sticks with you, forever, even though you can't always feel and see it. whatta rant and a half this is, and you probably won't even realise it's about you to be honest. so this was pretty pointless. but fuck it, it needs to be said.

sometimes it's nice to feel appreciated.