my tears are all dried up.

it's kind of weird that i want to cry. i can only find pathetic reasons why i would feel the need though. crying makes me feel quite good actually, rather than more sad. i just want to have the hcoice to sometimes. i reckon i've cried about 5 times in my life, and thats a quite realistic figure. i only really cry at extreme makeover: home edition. i cried at the bucket list, not titanic, i cried at being told i wasn't as much as a best friend as someone else, and that's about it. it's quite pathetic really. i want to do it but i can't. i didn't cry when i found out my granma had cancer, my nan had a heart attack etcetcetc. i felt so very very very sad obviously, i just couldn't manage one single tear, as hard as i tried. it makes me feel so selfish and heartless but i try my best. i honestly do. it's harder than it looks you know.